If you’re married, chances are you’ve had an argument before with your spouse. It’s natural, it happens, and there is a way to turn that argument around to make things better. If you’re married and want things to improve for both of you, try these tips for how to get your husband on your side during argument breakthroughs.
If you’re in a tough argument and you don’t know how to get your husband on your side, here are some tips.
1. Talk to him about your concerns. When you have a problem, it’s important to communicate it with your husband. This way, he can understand where you’re coming from and hopefully be more willing to help you solve the issue.
2. Be understanding. It can be hard for husbands to see their wives as rational individuals capable of making their own decisions. Try to remember that your husband may be feeling frustrated, overwhelmed, or just plain outnumbered in the argument. Don’t take his feelings personally.
3. Be sincere. If you genuinely want help resolving the conflict, your husband is likely to respond positively. Don’t try to manipulate him or play games; just be truthful and sincere about your needs and desires.
If you find yourself in an argument with your husband, be prepared to identify the warning signs that you are not on his side. Arguments can often become heated, and any one of these signs could mean that your husband is no longer rational and may be more likely to break away from the argument.
1. You start to feel like the only person fighting for your cause.
Arguments are typically a two-sided coin – one person is trying to convince the other of a point, and ideally, both people should be receptive to that idea. If one person feels like they are the only ones fighting for their cause, it could be a sign that they are losing the battle and may need to back down. This doesn’t mean that your husband is wrong – it’s simply indicative of how intense an argument can become.
2. Your husband starts to pull away from you emotionally. This can happen gradually or all at once, but if your husband starts to distance himself emotionally from you during an argument, it may be a sign that he isn’t as interested in the conversation as you are. He may also start criticizing you more harshly, which can make the argument even more difficult.
When your husband is angry, it can be difficult to know what to do. Here are five tips for working with your husband’s anger:
1. Listen carefully. Don’t try to argue or fix the situation while he’s still angry. Give him the opportunity to calm down first. This will help you understand his perspective and may lead to a resolution that both of you can live with.
2. Don’t withdraw. When your husband starts to calm down, offer support and reassure him that you’re there for him. Avoid giving him the silent treatment or becoming defensive; this only makes things worse.
3. Avoid using anger as a tool. If your husband is using anger as a way of controlling you or pushing his agenda, resist the temptation to respond in kind. Instead, calmly state your concerns and ask for what you need (without being demanding or accusatory).
4. Don’t try to solve the problem all at once. If your husband is too angry or upset to discuss the issue calmly, start by discussing it step by step until he’s calmed down enough to listen without getting agitated again. This will help avoid adding fuel to the flames.
5. Avoid blaming each other. The last thing an angry person wants to do is take responsibility for his or her actions, so don’t expect to change behavior by pointing the finger at your spouse and accusing him of being “abusive.” Rather than point fingers, try to get your husband in a better mood by making him feel good about himself or take care of some personal needs he’s neglected (like a haircut, a bath, or shopping for groceries).
6. Don’t drag out the conversation too long. If you let an argument drag on for too long you only intensify the anger and resentment between you (and maybe even start looking for reasons to cut off communication).
If you’re finding yourself in an argument with your husband, it’s important to remember that he’s not always going to be on your side. In fact, he may actually be on the other side of the argument! If you want to get him on your side during this breakdown, make a promise. Promise Him that you won’t fight about this issue again for at least a week. This will give him time to think about what he really wants and how he feels about the situation. After a week has gone by, discuss the issue again and see if he still supports your position. If he does, great! If not, then you can continue to argue until you reach a resolution.